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So happy togEETTHHEERR

Well folks, it's been months since you have had significant break from your family and the edges might be starting to wear. Irritability might be creeping in. You may have discovered 6 creative ways to use Fork as your new cuss word. Maybe you aren't even worried about the new 9pm curfews for alcohol because #daydrinking! But underneath all of that, relationships are straining and it is time to get a little release.

One of the most "brutiful" things about the last 6 months is that we have had the golden opportunity to slow down and look at our deepest darkest shadow work. And there is no better reflection of our own inner journey than the relationships around us. Take a second to think about the last few months. Do you have relationships that have gotten closer even with all of the distancing? Do you have space in some that you didn't have before? Are you finding it easier to create boundaries and hold them or is it seemingly more challenging than before?

The people in our lives are there for a reason. The favorites AND the not so favorites. They are reflections for us on where our souls want to learn and grow. Where are relationships are solid and feel comforting and supportive, that's soul tribe. Where we find challenge, anger, frustration, and differences, that soul tribe too. Our relationships are meant to grow and stretch us. Often, when we don't "like" a relationship, our immediate reaction is to get out of it, away from it. But the truth is, these are moments where we really get to look deeply at our selves and say "what about this situation is triggering me?" The answer is often some part of ourselves that we need to listen to and understand more deeply. If we are in external conflict, then we are in internal conflict somewhere. Our "sole" purpose (see how I did that pun there?) on this earth as energetic beings is to HAVE an experience. We chose these human bodies so that we could experience ourselves and learn. So when we have conflict, we should celebrate and shout, "Yes! I have created a growth opportunity!" and then dive into what internal pain needs attention in order to heal the external conflict.

I often tell my clients that life is like a video game. The purpose of a video game is to get through all of the levels. Along the way, you have to solve problems, navigate disaster, and increase your knowledge. And, when you finally learn how to make it all the way through, you level up and you get to do it all again. But one of the most important things about a video game is that even though there are tough obstacles to overcome, there are also a ton of gifts along the way. And those gifts are extremely important. Sometimes, we can't move forward until we get them. Sometimes, we even have to repeat the level (or lesson) until we get all of it, the challenge, the knowledge, and the gift.

Our relationships are like this. We have to navigate the experience together. We have to work towards the end goal of leveling up and leveling up just means a new appreciation or self awareness. And all along the way there are these little gifts. Those gifts might be protected by one hell of an obstacle, but they are so beautiful when we get to finally unpack them.

Now let's be clear. The gift isn't always that we are going to get along with everyone because we do good soul work. The gift often IS the pain, because the pain breaks us open into a new space. One of the things I admire most in the world are people who have been through something horrific and turn around and say "that was the best thing that ever happened to me because..." And then fill the rest of the sentence in with how they wouldn't be who they are in some way if this thing hadn't happened. These are the gifts. Our soul tribe agreed to be with us in the physical realm to help us to grow. And sometimes that means they agreed to hurt us the MOST in order for us to accomplish that. Think about that, what if the person that has hurt you the most is ALSO a soul who loves you so much they were willing to play this role for you so that you could have the experience to grow from. This is the realm of grace, compassion and forgiveness. If you make these three words the pillars of your actions, your relationships will shift because you are no longer resonating in grief and blame. You are looking at your relationships through the eyes of your higher self, the real you and you are seeing the real them.



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Quantum Integrative Wellness is a stress management system.  It is not intended to diagnose or treat any illness. 

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laura@lauracardwell.com

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